Fonny(Alonzo Hunt)Entry 7–9
I want to get out, I can’t explain how bad. Tish and them don’t know what they been doing to me in here. Daniel always described what he went through, but experiencing it is a whole different thing. I feel alone, all I can think about is what everyone else is doing out there. My mind is focused on the world out there, trying not to pay attention to the one in here. I have no reason in being here but yet here I am.
As a man, I’m expected to be tough. But I just can’t help the tears that are rolling down my face. I’m stuck, maybe for a while or maybe for forever. Hayward is supposed to tell me when I got a trial date, but I haven’t heard any news. When he finally came he ain’t say much besides that it will be soon. Although, he did tell Tish that he could possibly wipe out the chicks testimony against me. Honestly, I don’t think that’s going to do much.
Tish told me that Bell has killed one black kid, so Hayward is gonna use that in court. But shit, they would probably pat him on the back without a care in the world. They’ve already manipulated and intimidated all my witnesses, so why would they give a fuck about that. Bell’s crimes ain’t considered nothing compared to the false ones against me. I’m just a nigga in their control and whatever they say goes.
The chick has lost her baby, she’s gone crazy ever since. Apparently, she was dragged to the mountains and can’t nobody see her. I don’t know what this means for me but without her, this case is at the white man’s hands. My fears began to rise up, I look dirty. If I’m forced to stay in here I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I know my mind and soul can’t hang on no more . Trying to be strong ain’t so easy when the white man keeps tearing you down.
Everybody’s been trying to get money for my bail, but I might not even get bail. With this crazy chick losing her baby, they might find a way to blame it on me. How can one chick ruin my life this bad? Every time I hear a guard walk by, I think “are they coming for me?” The feeling of leaving these bars forever is what I dream of. The day I get to be in Tish’s arms will be the day I become whole again.
They’ve been searching for my dad, but little did they know what they would find. After Tish visited me, Adrienne called. Everybody’s been searching for my father. He got fired trying to rescue me from this hell of a life, but his way of helping was stealing to get money. The day Frank’s job finally found out, he got drunk that same night and disappeared. Later on, my poor father’s body was found in his car in the woods, he couldn’t handle the situation anymore so he did what would hurt me the most.
